I Wish That I Had Jesse's Girl
by Ecosphere
Summary: It Hurts. Every time I see them together, I am reminded that I can't have her. I am just her best friend. To her, I am only a small part of her life. But to me, she is my whole world. I want her to notice me the way I notice her, I want her to look at me the way she looks at Jesse. But that won't happen. It never will. (Trigger Warning) Wattpad username: Scissorhappy
1. I Wish That I Had Jesse Girl (p1)

_**Authors Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy my story. This is a Bechloe, with a small bit of Jeca.**_

 _ **(CHLOE'S P.O.V)**_

I take a deep breathe deciding if I want to do this. But there is really nothing left for me. My grades our dropping, everyone is distancing themselves from me and the person I love, loves someone else.

I set a note that I had written down on the ledge and quickly climb onto the side of bridge. About 15 minutes away from Barden there is a bridge with about an 150 ft drop into water. I had decided that this is were I was going to do it. I was going to jump off.

But right before I do I decided to think everything over and make sure this is what I wanted to do. Because once I jump, they won't be able to save me. No one has survived a jump off this bridge.

The first thing that comes to my mind is the Barden Bellas. I think about if this will affect them ,but I know it wont. They will be able to get over me, and Aubrey has a girlfriend to help her, and Beca has Jesse.

Uggh, Beca.

 _Beca Mitchell_. As soon as anyone say's her name my heart speeds up and a small smile spreads across my face.

She is absolutely perfect. She has an amazing voice, the most beautiful blue eyes that you could get lost in.

I remember the first time I began to realize I had feelings for her.

I had walked into her shower because I had over heard her singing Titanium. We sung some of it and than I had left. It wasn't until I was gone that I realized I had felt something, but I pushed it away into the back of my mind.

She had been on my mind for a while and I was so excited to see her at auditions. When auditioned she didn't have a song prepared so just sang one and used a cup with it. I loved hearing her sing. Her voice is amazing.

I remember aca-initiation night and how close I came to kissing her. Are faces where only inches away. She was so close to me, but I got nervous and pulled away. I should have kissed that night. I regret it now.

At the first Bellas practice we had, I noticed Beca wasn't getting the moves so I decided to help her. I showed her again and she still didn't get it, so I helped her out by standing behind her and guiding her arms. She kept saying she knew what she was doing and how she had this, but she didn't pull away.

After we had regional and Beca had gotten arrested for destruction of property I made all of the Bellas wait in Beca's room so that we would all be there when she returned. When she walked in and smiled asking why we waited up for her my heart just skipped a beat. She looked so pretty when she really smiled.

I knew that I had all ways felt something towards Beca. But as we had spent more time together, my feelings for her were starting to grow until I couldn't deny them anymore. I was in love with Beca Mitchell.

At first I thought it was just a small crush and that I would be able to get over it. But it turned out to be something more. I thought about maybe telling her how I felt, but than I realized that I couldn't do that. She didn't feel the same way, and if I told her, it would definitely have ruined are friendship and she probably wouldn't want anything to have to do with me.

I loved spending time with Beca. To be honest I would much rather take a bullet through my chest than have her not talk to me anymore.

The only people who knew how I felt about Beca was Aubrey and Stacie. Aubrey was my bet friend so of course I couldn't hide it from her, and with them being a couple and Stacie always being over at Aubrey's and my apartment I couldn't keep it from her too.

At the night of the finals, I was going to tell Beca how I felt. It was becoming to much for me to hide anymore. I couldn't keep pretending that us just being friends was okay. After we had finished performing we walked off of stage to go take our seats. As I had gotten off of the stage and was walking into the isle I watched as Beca went over to Jesse. As soon as she went over and kissed him I felt my heart break. It had felt like someone had taken a knife and was slowly pushing it into my chest. It had suddenly become hard for me to breathe.

I looked over at Aubrey and Stacie and saw them already staring at me. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to leave the room. I ran out leaving Stacie and Aubrey to chase after me. I didn't even stay to find out who had won. I quickly called a taxi and left heading back to Barden.

The Bellas had a celebration for winning the the ICCA and for it being Aubrey's last year here. I wasn't graduating do to failing many of my classes. But still, I didn't go. I couldn't, seeing Beca would have been just to painful. That night I had received lots of texts from all the girls asking where I was, and why I didn't show up. I just ignored them.

Aubrey came back that night and talked to me about at the end of the year, a couple weeks after we were done with school, all the Bellas would be heading up to her family's cabin.

She told that I should go and it would be fun, but if Beca was going to be there it would suck listening to how great Jesse was the whole time and how she was in love with some one else. So I told her that I would think about it, even though I knew I wasn't going to go.

The only time I left our apartment was for class and that's all. I didn't want to run into Beca in case she was with Jesse. But I knew that it was inevitable and I would have to see them sometime.

I was walking to one of my classes and I didn't watch were I was going and ran straight into Beca. I had just apologized and quickly tried to walk away but Beca had stopped me.

"Wait! Chloe, is everything alright? I haven't seen you since the ICCA's?"

"Yeah everything is fine." I replied calming, I was hoping that she couldn't tell I was lying.

She looked like she was about to say something more but I switched the subject. "How are things with you and Jesse?" I didn't really care how things were with them , I just didn't want to talk about me anymore.

"It's amazing, he is the best. I really think I love him Chloe."

Hearing that made my heart break and all hope that I was holding on to of us possibly getting together disappeared.

"Thats's amazing Beca." I said trying to sound happy. "Well I better get to class." And with that I left as quick as I could trying to away from her.

I couldn't stand the thought of them being together. But I wanted her to be happy.

Over the past two weeks I had started to become more involved with my school work distracting my feeling from Beca. I was starting to become depressed. All of my friends were distancing them selves from me and Aubrey was with Stacie most of the time to notice anything was wrong.

I hadn't eaten much or had lots of sleep. I had definitely become a bit skinnier and had dark bags under my eyes from not sleeping.

Everything had become to much for me. The last time I had scene Beca was early today around dinner time. I had decided to take a walk around campus.

As I was walking I ran into Beca and Jesse. They were leaving the radio about to go on a date.

"Chloe!" Beca called out but I ignored her pretending I didn't hear it hoping that she would just leave me alone. But she didn't, instead she came running over to me leaving.

"Chloe!" She called out again, as I looked up I saw her running and than she engulfed me into a big hug. I was taking back a bit when she hugged me. It felt good though. So I put my arms around her waist and buried my head into her neck breathing her in. And for a second, it felt like it was just us and that Jesse wasn't her boyfriend and that we were together.

But the moment was ruined by Jesse when he came walking over towards us. Beca pulled away and stood by him "Hey Chloe, I haven't seen you for a while, how are you?"

"I'm good, what about you two?"

"Great! Ever since Beca and I got together every things been good." He turned and looked down at Beca giving her a kiss. Why did they have to do that in front of me? I looked away not being able to watch.

"Yeah every things been great." She said with a smile on her face.

"Well that's nice but I really have to go, bye." said trying to leave them. I know I am being selfish, but I hated seeing them together. I hated that he could hold Beca's hand whenever he wanted or kiss her whenever he felt like it. I wanted that to be me, but I knew it never would be.

"Wait Chloe! Where are you going? I have barely seen you." Asked Beca.

"Oh well I am going over to Stacie, I am gonna hangout with her and Aubrey." I was lying to her. I haven't talked to Aubrey or Stacie all week.

"Oh okay, well do you wanna hangout this week?"

"Sure" And with that being said I quickly left.

And with that it brings me to here. For the rest of the day I couldn't stop thinking about Beca and Jesse. Seeing them together was just like a blow to the stomach.

I couldn't take it anymore. It's just all becoming to much for me. I honestly don't want to live anymore. I wish that I could say that one day in the future, Beca and I will be together. She won't be with Jesse anymore and it will be me putting the smile on her face.

One day, I will be the one who gets to take her on dates, hold her hand when we walk side by side, or give her a goodnight kiss, or just be able to hold her.

I wanted all of those things, but I knew I could never have any of it. She loved Jesse and not me. She saw me as nothing more but a good friend.

I guess movies are the only things with happy endings. The boy gets the girl or the knight gets the princess and they live happily ever after. It's never the girl who gets the girl.

I realized that I was gonna do it. I was going to kill myself. It's funny though really, when I was 9 maybe 10 I always thought that when I was going to die it would be because of a car crash or a gun shot. But I never would thought that would be me doing the killing.

I looked down beside my note hoping that who ever found it would give it to Beca.

I looked down at my wrist looking at all the scars that I had there. There were small ones and than there were big, deep ones.

I had made all of these in the past week. I thought about maybe cutting up and hitting the Artery, but I realized that someone could have found me.

I had brought a razor with me, I didn't know if I was gonna need it. Looking down at the water now, I don't think I will. I shouldn't survive this fall.

But just in case, to make sure I don't live through, I pulled the blade out of my back pocket and put it up to my wrist. I had began to cut from my wrist all the way to my elbow. The blood began to pour out. There was no way of me living through this now.

So I took a deep breathe.

Closed my eyes.

I thought about Beca one last time.

"I love you Beca." I whispered.

And with that being said, I took and step and-

"Chloe? What are you doing!" A voice yelled from behind me.


	2. I Wish That I Had Jesse Girl (p2)

**AUTHORS NOTE: HEY Everyone, so I decided that I was gonna make this more than 1 chapters. I am going to make this into a 3 part.**

 **(CHLOE'S P.O.V)**

So I took a deep breathe.

Closed my eyes.

I thought about Beca one last time.

"I love you Beca." I whispered.

And with that being said, I took and step and-

"Chloe? What are you doing!"

I was paralyzed. I never thought I would hear her voice again.

"Chloe, please look at me."

I turned around slowly looking down on Aubrey. She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"Don't do this. Please."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because Chloe, there are lots of people who care about you." I hate seeing Aubrey like this. Her voice is getting all choked up and her eyes are tearing up.

"Stop it! Stop it Aubrey! Your not gonna change my mind."

"Chloe please, just get down from there!"

"Why Aubrey, Why? Why shouldn't I do this?" I just wanted to die, why couldn't she let me do that. "There nothing left for me Aubrey, so I don't see a point in staying. I can't keep going on pretending that I'm fine when on the inside I want to die. It's just to much for me to handle."

Aubrey hated seeing her best friend like this. As Chloe closed her eyes and took a deep breath, Aubrey took this as an opportunity and climbed up the ledge of the bridge. Chloe than opened her eyes and look beside her and saw Aubrey standing there.

"Aubrey what are you doing." Chloe said

"Chloe, if your going to kill yourself, I will too. I need you Chloe your my best friend. I don't want to live in a world with out you Chloe. Your my best friend! You told me that you have supported me for 4 years. But not once have I ever done the same. "

"Aubrey, please just get down" I pleaded.

"No, if your gonna jump so am I."

"Aubrey,plea-"

"No Chloe! I am noting getting down! The only way I won't jump is if you get down with me."

I thought for a moment, deciding what I wanted to do. I wanted Aubrey to live, lots of people care about her and would miss her if she as gone. She has a girlfriend, and I am pretty sure Stacie would be a mess if Aubrey died.

But on the other hand, I had no one. I mean I do have Aubrey, but she wasn't around when I needed her the most. I don't have a girlfriend, No one loves. Not even my dad, all he care's about is my brother, and my mom. She's dead. Died in a car accident 8 years ago.

I don't know what to do. I want to die. I see no point in me living anymore. But I want Aubrey to live.

I look down at my wrist remembering that I had cut it. I guess I could get off of this bridge and than I would just bleed to death than. Bu the most important part is that Aubrey would live.

"I'm sorry Aubrey, I-I- just, please, let's just get down." I said.

As we got down my arm brushed up against aubrey an blood was smeared all over her arm and a bit on her shirt.

"Chloe your bleeding." Than she realized were it was coming from "Oh My God! we need to get you to a hospital!"

Aubrey got her phone out and called an ambulance. A she was talking to the operator, I began to grow tired. I suddenly couldn't keep myself standing anymore, feeling the need to lay down. I collapsed.

"Oh my gosh Chloe! Just just collapsed onto the ground." Aubrey said telling the woman on the phone. "Come on Chloe, stay with us. There almost here."

I couldn't keep my eyes open, I was drifting in and out. I was hoping that death would just take me. Instead this was long slow, and painful.

"Chloe, please, tell me- tell me what you did today." Aubrey was crying harder now.

I finally gathered some strength to speak. "I-I didn't g-go to my cl-classes. I just..." And with that my eyes fluttered shut and the last thing I had heard was Aubrey screaming my name.

 **(AUBREY'S P.O.V)**

The ambulance finally arrived 1 minute after Chloe collapsed and took her to the hospital. Right before I left to run back to Barden to go tell Stacie what just happened, I noticed a note on the side of the bridge. It was addressed to Beca so I picked up and would give it to her when I next saw her. I finally arrived at her dorm and I was out of breath. I must have made it here in record time.

As I got to Stacie dorm I knocked on her door and she told me just to come in.

"Hey, Aubrey, oh my gosh are you okay?" Stacie asked immediately standing up coming over to comfort me.

"What happened" I turned my head to see Beca getting off the bed putting her laptop and headphones to the side.

"It- it's" I could barely talk, I was tired from running over here. "It's Chloe."

Suddenly a look over worry spread across Beca's face. "What happened? Is she okay? Were is she?"

"She, well I was walking and I found her..." I could finish that sentence without collapsing onto the ground in tears.

"It's okay Aubrey, just tell us what happened." Stacie said wrapping her arms around me.

"I found her at that bridge near Barden, and she was... she was trying to kill herself." I heard them both gasp. I than took a deep breath and continued. "She was trying to jump off of the side, than, I told her that if she would jump than so would I. that made her get off the ledge, but I didn't notice that- that..." I needed to take a sentence and collect my thoughts " that she had cut her arm. There was a deep cut running from her wrist to her elbow. Her arm accidentally touch me and that's how I got this blood on me."

I looked down for the first time noticing how much had gotten on to my shirt.

"I called an ambulance but she collapsed before they got there. She is at the hospital right now."

Right now I was sitting in the waiting room hoping there would be news on Chloe soon. Stacie was beside me trying to make me feel better while Beca was calling the rest of the Bellas, telling them what happened. After that she had just sat down at the very end of the row.

Suddenly I remembered the note that Chloe had written for her. But should I give it to her?

What if Chloe lives? How would she feel if I had given that not to Beca. But if she didn't, than she would want me to.

I made up my mind. I am gonna give it to Beca.

I started to stand up and Stacie looked at me confused. "I will be right back." Than I bent down and gave her a small kiss and walked over to Beca.

"Hey Beca" I said as I sat next to her. "How are you holding up?"

"Not to good to be honest." she said looking sad. She didn't even look up at me. She was still gazing into her lap."the last time that I saw her I could tell something was wrong but I just ignored it."

"It's okay Beca. When I talked to her on the bridge, that was the first time I had talked to her in a week."

We just sat there for a second, I though that now this would be a good time to bring up the letter. "Um Beca, as the ambulance brought her to the hospital, I saw that she had a note for you."

Her head shot up. "Th-There was a note?"

"Yeah, no worries, I didn't read it. it's between you and her."

"Do you have it with you? Could I see it?"

"Yeah, here" I pulled the note out of my pocket and gave it to her.

"What about your's, did you read your note yet?"

"I didn't get a note. She only wrote one to you." I was a little hurt about that, but that didn't matter right now. Maybe in Beca's note, it explained had some answers.

"Thanks." Beca said as she just stared at the note.

I got up and walked over to my seat next to Stacie. I sat down and she wrapped her arms around me and I relaxed into her. "Everything okay?" she asked than gave me a kiss on the top of my head.

"Yeah, I just gave Beca a note that Chloe left for her."

"Do you think it explains her feelings for her."

I sighed than answered "If I know Chloe, which I do, I am pretty sure it explains how she feels and why she did this."

 **(BECA'S P.O.V)**

 _Dear Beca,_

 _I can pretend I don't need you, but I'll be fooling myself. I can pretend I don't want you, but I would be lying to myself. When I close my eyes, I see your face. When I fall asleep I dream about us, if you had felt the same, what life would be like if were together. It all seems so real, but then I wake up, I realize that it's only just a dream, and that your with Jesse, not me._

 _When we are together, whether we are just hanging out, talking or whatever, and you smile it's the most beautiful thing in the world. Just watching you smile can make my day. Or when I hear your laugh, it can make change my bad mood into a good one. It's amazing really, that just one person can affect me like that._

 _The truth is I hadn't stopped talking to you or distancing myself because I don't like you anymore, or because I got bored or annoyed at you. You did nothing wrong._

 _I did it because every time I am with you my chest hurts because I know I can't have you. I have to watch my mouth around you, hoping that nothing slips out in fear of ruining our friendship. That just became all to much for me._

 _But when I wasn't with you, I missed you so much. I missed you everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. I would hope that one day you would call or come to the apartment, and say that you missed me._

 _But you never did, and it hurt. But you had no clue how I felt._

 _I kept it from you and that was my fault. I shouldn't have done that. But I didn't want you to reject me. The thought of you rejecting me scared. I love being with you Beca, and I didn't want you to push me away because of my feelings._

 _Now, there is nothing you can do. By the time your reading this Beca. I will be gone. You won't be able to reject me, you won't be able to push me away._

 _I don't want you thinking that this is your fault, because it's not. It's mine._

 _I just didn't know what to do anymore. All I had been feeling became to much for me._

 _So please, don't cry over me Beca. You don't have to be upset. In a few years, you will forget about me. The only memories you will have of us together will be of us performing. But that's all. You will get over me Beca. It won't be hard._

T _ell Aubrey for me, that this has nothing to do with her, and that she should just be happy, tell her that I care about her and that I want her to succeed in life._

 _And Beca, I want you to be with Jesse. He makes you happier. You to are good for each-other. Take care of yourself._

 _Your Friend,_

 _Chloe Beale_

I had read this note about 4 times now. I was sitting in the bathroom at the hospital. We still hadn't heard any news on her condition.

I didn't want to go out there and be with Jesse. I knew he was there, but I didn't want to go.

Right now all I could was just think about Chloe.

Why didn't she tell me that she loved me? Had it never occurred to her that I felt the same way?

I guess it hadn't. I mean I never showed any signs that I had.

I decided that I should probally leave the bathroom now and go back out into the lobby.

Just as I was about to leave the door opened up and I ran into Aubrey. She was crying and all her make up was smeared.

"Aubrey what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"It's- It's Chloe."


	3. I Wish That I Had Jesse Girl (p3)

Authors Note: HEY Everyone, so I originally planned for this to be a one-shot but I guess it turned out to be a lot more. I decided to make this a 10 CHAPTER STORY! I would also like to apologize for not updateing this story, or any of my other ones, for a while. I had broken the key board and could not type some letters.

 **(BECA'S P.O.V)**

Just as I was about to leave the door opened up and I ran into Aubrey. She was crying and all her make up was smeared.

"Aubrey what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"It's- It's Chloe."

A million things went through my head when she said that. Did Chloe make it? Did she die?

"Wh-what happened? Is she okay?"

"Sh- She..." Aubrey could barely get it out before she broke down crying. She sunk down to the floor and I put my arms around Aubrey, trying to comfort her. I bet she didn't make it.

"Shh, Aubrey it's-it's okay." I could barely speak with out crying.

The first tear fell from my eyes. I'm not ready for her to die. She was my best friend.

She was gone. I felt a huge amount of guilt on my chest feeling as if this was all my fault. I mean, she wrote me that letter explaining how much she loved me, and told me to be happy. I bet this all was because of me.

I'm not ready to let her go though. I need her. I shouldn't have let her push me out. I should have been more aware of how she was feeling. I should have been with her more, so she could talk to me about and I could help her get through what ever is happen. But there's nothing I could do now. She's gone.

"Beca, she's a-alive. They saved her."

What? I-I thought she didn't make it. I guess I should stop jumping to conclusion.

"Chloe alive?"

"Yeah, but she barely made though. They said she is really weak from all the blood loss. But she is alive!"

"When can we see her?" I asked. I really wanted to talk to her, hear her voice, see that she was okay.

"We could go see her now, but she is sleeping." They said we should come bak tomorrow and that she should be awake by than.

That night I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was Chloe. I kept reading her note over and over again.

Did she really feel this strongly about me? I mean, I know that there was obviously some attraction there but I didn't think this it was this strong.

Finding out ho she feels for me just completely messes everything up. The only reason I was with Jesse was because I had thought Chloe didn't like me in that way. I kissed him at the ICCA's because I was sure he liked me and that he was safe.

I honestly had tried to make myself fall in love with Jesse. But no matter what he did, or how well he treated, he just wasn't Chloe. But I thought she only like me as a friend so I am forcing myself to like him.

I really shouldn't be leading him on though. He deserves better than this. I wish I had loved him the way he loved me.

I looked over at my clock and it read 4:30 a.m. I really needed to get some sleep.

 **(CHLOE'S P.O.V)**

Darkness.

That's all I see right now. There's no bright light, there's absolutely nothing. It's just dark. But's not quiet, I hear voice around me whispering and a soft humming sound.

If this is what being dead is like, than it sucks. But it's still better than having Beca love Jesse instead of me. I wonder if they are gonna come to my funeral, or come and visit my grave at all.

I doubt it they will though. Maybe once or twice, but they will forget about me and move on.

As I am just lying here the voice are becoming louder and more distinct. Than suddenly, I begin to feel my arms and legs again. I can now here people around me and what they are saying. I hear to voice. The one definitely sounds like Aubrey's and the other's is...

Well, I can't exactly tell, I think it's Stacie's.

"Have you heard from any of the other Bella's?"

"Not really, I know most of them will come and visit her."

"What about Beca?"

Beca! Hearing her name suddenly brought me back into some kind of reality. I wonder how she took all of this? I know we were friends, but she always told me about how everyone she loves always leave's her. Oh my god, and that's just what I did. I left, I would never see Beca again and she wouldn't see me.

But she said everyone she loves leaves her, and she doesn't love me. Maybe only as a friend but not in the other way.

"I don't if she is gonna come today. I know she want's to visit her but this was pretty hard on her. I ran into Jesse on my way here and he said that she hasn't come out of her dorm yet and when he went to visit her she was a mess."

"I knew this was gonna be hard on her. Considering the way she feels."

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"Well the night Chloe went to... you know, do this. She had come over to my dorm to talk to me about Chloe. But before she could say anything you came in. But I pretty much have an idea of what she was gonna say."

I heard a person sigh and than felt something on my hand.

"God, I hope she wakes up soon."

What? What do they mean wake up. I can't wake up because I'm dead, and the only way I could wake up now was if I survived.

OH MY GOD! I didn't die, I lived through it! I survived my suicide attempt.

Suddenly my eyes shot open to see if it was true.

It was.

I survived, I didn't die. I suddenly realized my worst nightmare was coming to life. I couldn't face everyone after what I had just done. I needed to die.

"No, no ,no!" I said as I sat up.

"Oh my god Chloe!" I looked over and saw Aubrey holding my hand.

"Hey, your awake." Said Stacie, who had Aubrey sitting in her lap.

I ripped my hand out of Aubrey's and started pulling all the ivy's out of my skin.

"Chloe what are you doing!" I heard Aubrey shout at me.

It hurt ripping the needles out, but I didn't care, I just wanted to be gone.

"Stop it!' Aubrey said getting off of Stacie's lap.

"I will go get a nurse." Stacie said running out of the room.

I ignored Aubrey and tried pull the stitches out. I heard Aubrey yell my name again, but I ignored her trying to rip them out of my arm.

I felt Aubrey get on the bed with me and she grabbed my arms, and tried to pry them away from each other. When she finally pulled back my arms, she used such great force that it through us both off the bed and onto the ground. I quickly scrambled to the other side of the bed to grab a needle from an ivy and cut the stitches.

"Chloe, what are you doing! STOP IT!" Aubrey screamed at me, I looked over at her and she had tears pouring pout of her eyes.

I looked away and grabbed an ivy needle in one hand. I quickly brought it down to one of my stitches. Aubrey quickly grabbed me from behind trying to pull me away.

We both went flying back onto the ground. But on the way down my arm hit the side of the bed and a few stitches ripped open causing blood to come flowing out.

But before I could do anything else I felt some one lift me up and put me on a bed.

"What happen." I heard a man ask aubrey.

"Sh-She w-was..."

"Mam, we need you to calm down" The same man said.

"She w-was trying to rip open her s-stitches so.." Before Aubrey could finish she ran out of the room and threw up.

But before I could see anything else, I felt a nurse inject me with something and I blacked out.


	4. I Wish That I Had Jesse Girl (p4)

**Authors Note: HEY Everyone, don't worry, this story will not be a tragedy. so I originally planned for this to be a one-shot but I guess it turned out to be a lot more. I decided to make this a 10 CHAPTER STORY! I would also like to apologize for not updating this story, or any of my other ones, for a while. I had broken the key board and could not type some letters.**

 _ **(STACIE'S P.O.V)**_

After seeing the nurses run into her room and carrying Chloe out on a stretcher, I was not prepared for what I saw next.

I heard screaming coming down the hallway and a loud shattering noise. I ran into Chloe's room and Aubrey in hysteria. The nurses had to hold her down, and gave her a sedative because she wouldn't strop screaming and kicking the nurses.

Seeing her in such fear, I almost broke down into tears. I immediately ran over to her and got on the ground and just held her while, she was beginning to fall asleep.

"She- She is... g-going to d-die." Aubrey said in a sleepy voice. "I-I... sh-she can't.. I-I need her h-here..." before she could get anything else out she was asleep.

They moved her into the bed next to Chloe's room as she sleep. After the nurses left, I climbed into the bed with her and spooned her from behind. I held her as close to me as I could.

I could only imagine what she was thinking. She had known Chloe since she was young. Being her position I think I would have acted the same.

After laying with her for a bit, I heard a knock on the door and Beca walked in. She clearly had been crying. "Hey Stacie, how's Aubrey." Beca asked as she sat down int the chair next to the bed.

"She better now that she is asleep. Did... Did you hear what happened?"

"Yeah, I saw her on the stretcher and asked a nurse near by and they filled me in." She took a deep breath and than continued. "Stacie, god, I don't know what to do. She is my best friend. She can't die. I think the worst part about all of this was that she tried to push me, all of us, away. And I let her."

She was now in tears and I had no clue what I was gonna do. I had never seen her this vulnerable. I was going to say something but she continued talking.

"Stacie, I don't know if Aubrey had told you this, but Chloe left a note for me."

"I know, Aubrey had found it on the side of the bridge where she had almost jumped off."

"Do you know what it says?"

"No, Aubrey wouldn't show it to me." I didn't want Beca to think I was invading her privacy or anything.

"In the note, i-it talks about her feelings and why she did this." She took in a big breath before continuing. "And it was because of me."

"I knew it!" I shouted out. Beca's head shot up from looking in her lap and looked at me. I could tell she was a bit confused so I decided to elaborate.

"Beca, I don't know what the note says, but I do know that Chloe likes you. More than a friend. She had told us herself sometime towards the beginning of the ICCA's. She would some and talk to us whenever she needed a vent, or just whenever. And the night that you kissed Jesse, she was heartbroken. That's why she had left so early. "

Beca was silent for a bit before she spoke again. "Stacie, I need to tell you something. But you can't tell anyone else."

"Okay, I wont." I already knew what she was going to say.

"I-I umm... I also like Chloe. More than a friend of course."

A huge smile spread across my face. " That's perfect Beca! Now you two can be together and Chloe will be her normal bubbly self again!"

"What? Stacie are you crazy, me and Chloe could never be together!"

"What why?" They both like each other, I don't see why not.

"Well for starters, I am with Jesse." Shoot, I forgot about him. "And second of all, I don't want to ruin our friendship. Yeah I do really like her, but I couldn't stand losing her. If we broke up, I don't think I would be able to handle that. I need her in my life Stacie. These past few weeks have been hell without her."

I suddenly felt bad for her. I would hate to be in her position. I couldn't even imagine not having Aubrey. It would just be pure torture being her friend. "Oh, I didn't see it like that Beca. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It just... Well never mind."

"No Beca, if you want to talk about something, you can tell me. I enjoy listening."

"Okay. I don't want to be a burden or something. I don't ant it to seem like I am just dropping all of my problems onto you."

"Beca, it's fine! If you need to vent, go ahead. I know you can't talk to anyone else about it, so tell me." I knew Beca didn't like opening up to people, and I knew I was pushing her. But sometimes people just need to vent.

I suddenly felt Aubrey move in my arms and I thought she was about to wake up, but she just flipped herself around, bring her self closer to me, nuzzling her nose into my neck.

"Okay, well I guess this whole thing just sucks. Every time we hang out and would watch a movie together, she would always lay so close to me and it just felt so nice, but as soon as the film is over she would rip her self away from me. I wish that sometimes we could lay there for hours with each other. When I'm with Jesse, I hate kissing him because I know that when I pull away it's not gonna be Chloe. Or I hate when he stays over at my apartment sometimes and we wake up together because I now that when I open my eyes, I will be lying in Jesse arms not hers. It bugs me when she touches me because I love it and hate it. I love the way it feels to have her close to me, but it hurts because I know that she is just something that I can never have." I could tell she was going to cry again. her voice was cracking and she kept wiping under her eye.

"The worst were the mornings after a sleepover. Chloe would always tell me how there was plenty of room in her bed for the both of us. But every single time, no matter what position we slept in, no matter how big the bed, we would always wake up tangled in each other's arms, and for those few minutes before she we wake up, I was able to pretend that everything was exactly how I wished it was. That the Chloe was my girlfriend and we were happy. There was no more Jesse, and I was positive that we would be together and we would make it. I sometimes would even managed to make the daydream last into the few moments after she woke up and sighed a soft 'good morning' with a small smile, then it shattered as she would pull away from me and get up, and I would have to be forced to swallow the urge to give her a kiss. God, Stacie I just love her so much. But there nothing I can do."

Wow. I had no clue Beca felt this strongly about Chloe. I mean I knew that there was something there, but I didn't know it was like this.

After hearing Beca talk like, expressing how she felt, I wanted them two to end up together. They deserved each other. It's obvious that Beca is suffering with out Chloe. And Chloe doesn't wasn't to live without Beca. But if she feels so strongly for Chloe, what makes her think that they will break up? "Why don't you think you two would last?"

"Because, my parents had gotten a divorce when I was young, and I learned from them is that you don't love someone forever. they will eventually get tired of you. I don't want me and Chloe to end up like that."

I went to say something else, but I felt Aubrey stir in my arms and began to wake up. "Wh-What happened? Where am I?" Aubrey asked waking up.

"Your in a hospital bed with me."

Aubrey quickly sat up looking around. "Where's Chloe? I-Is she okay?"

"Aubrey, babe, you need to calm down sweetie. And yes, Chloe is fine."

I looked over at Beca who I said mouthed out that she was gonna check on Chloe.

"Stacie, we should get back to campus. It's getting dark and I need to sleep."

"Alright, we can go back to my dorm" So with that being said we made our way back to Barden.

 _ **(BECA'S P.O.V)**_

As I was walking around the hospital I asked a nurse if Chloe was okay and if I could see her. They said that she was fine and was just down the hall to the right.

When I walked into her room, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked just laying there. I know I shouldn't be think like that in a time like this but I couldn't ignore it. The way her hair fell over her face, she looked so peaceful lying on the bed, as if nothing was wrong.

I sat down beside her and linked are hands together. I just sat there for a while, just taking her in.

I looked across her body and saw a white bandage wrapped around her wrist. I knew that underneath was where she has cut.

It's sad to think that she suffered through this, alone. She didn't tell anyone and look where she ended up.

Right now I would do anything for Chloe to open her eyes and talk to me.

I just sat there in the chair for a few more hours before I fell asleep. I wanted her to wake up and the first thing she sees is her hand in mine.


	5. I Wish That I Had Jesse Girl (p5)

**AU: Hey everyone, I thought that I would just let you know that on Wattpad, these stories are a couple chapters ahead. That is also why I am updating so many in a day.**

 ** _(CHLOE'S P.O.V)_** ****This takes place one week after Chloe left the hospital****

Friends.

That's all we will ever be. Nothing more. And I guess I will just have to live with that.

I am lying on my bed right now, I just can't deal with going to classes right now. It's to much stress. Plus, I don't think I would be able to handle running into Beca and Jesse.

When I was back at the hospital, I remember waking up to Beca holding my hand. We had a small conversation after I had woken up, but she never once let go of my hand.

I wish she had, because for some reason it gave me hope that she reciprocated my feelings. But my hope was quickly shattered as soon as Jesse walked into the room.

He told Beca that they had to go if they wanted to get to the radio station on time. She let go of my hand and telling me that she would visit later, but the worst was yet to come.

Right before they left he bent down and gave Beca kiss. I didn't understand why they had to that right in front of me. they were almost out of the room, why couldn't they just wait till than.

After they left, I just laid in my bed and cried.

Pathetic.

I know, I am. I should be able to get over Beca, but I just can't. Every time I get so close to forgetting her, there is always something that reminds me of her. when I am reminded of her, it also reminds me of what I feel for her and how she doesn't feel the same.

I heard my door open and looked up and saw Aubrey walk. She had a some food with her. She cam in and sat the food down on the night stand beside me and climbed into bed.

"Chloe, sweetie, you need to east something." She said laying right in front of me.

"I'm not hungry."

"Chloe, you need to. I know it's hard, but please, just do it for me. I still need you Chloe."

She's right, I guess I am being selfish. I sat up, and she handed me the food. As I slowly ate she told me about ehr day to try to get my mind off of Beca. It worked for a little bit.

After I finished eating, I laid down onto my bed again, but this time when Aubrey joined me, she wrapped her arms around my body and I tested my head in her shoulder.

This position wasn't awkward for us, we used to lay like this all the time before she and Stacie got together.

We laid there for quite awhile, she gently stroked her hand up and down my back and would occasionally run it through my hair. Than suddenly I heard Aubrey whisper breaking the silence, "Everything will be okay Chloe"

Hearing her say that gave me some sort of hope. It gave me the hope that I might get my happy ending. That I would finally get the girl and we would be happy together.

But eventually I came back to my sense and realized that it won't ever be that way. There was no point in hoping for something that will never happen.

I could only imagine what Beca and Jesse were doing now. They were probably with each other right now.

I couldn't help but start to feel jealous of him. He got to be with Beca they way I wanted to. He got to do things to her that I wanted to. I know I am being selfish, but I want all of that.

I would love to wake up in the morning and the first thing I see would be Beca. And when we wake up, I wouldn't have to fight the urge to give her a kiss and tell her that I love her. It would just be natural.

I would do anything to I have her here right now, she would be the one holding me and stroking my hair. No offense to Aubrey, but I just wished it was Beca holding me, trying to get me to feel better.

"Chloe, is everything okay."

"Yeah" I said putting in a fake smile and than looking up at her, "everything is fine."

"Your thinking about her aren't you?"

"Yeah"

"Chloe, I don't understand why you just can't tell her how you feel. She already read the note, and obviously she didn't react badly to it so-"

"Woah, slow down. You found my note?" I suddenly began to panic.

"Yeah, right before I ran back to Barden I picked it up after the side of the bridge."

"Where did you put it?"

"I gave it to Beca since it was addressed to her." She said that as if it was no big deal.

I began panicking now, if Beca read that note than she knows how I feel about her. "Are you positive that she read it?"

"Yes"

I couldn't believe it. I had completely forgotten that I had left a note.

But now I have ruined everything between me and Beca. She knows how I feel.

I didn't think that I would be alive when she had gotten it.

I couldn't face her now. She is probably disgusted by me. I couldn't take this anymore.

I felt as if my heart was being torn into two over and over again. I quickly pulled my self out of Aubrey's embrace and tried to run out of the apartment.

"Where are you going?" I heard Aubrey shout behind me.

"I'm sorry Aubrey, I just can't be here right now." and before she could answer I slammed the door shut and ran away as fast as I could from our apartment.

 _ **(BECA'S P.O.V)**_

"I'm sorry Jesse, I didn't mean to fall in love with her, it just happened" I said honestly. I decided to end things with him. My feelings for Chloe were getting stronger and I hated leading him on.

"It's okay, Beca. I wasn't feeling it either." Wow, I did not expect that reaction out of him.

"Your okay with this?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah, if we are being honest here, I also have something to confess."

"Wh-what is it?" I was confused, is he cheating on me?

"I... I love someone else too."

"You don't have to answer this if you don't want to but, who is it."

"It's..." I could tell that he was deciding if he should tell me or not. "Its's Aubrey."

"Wait, Aubrey as in Aubrey Posen?"

"Yeah" I suddenly felt bad for him. No matter what he did, he would never be with Aubrey, she loved Stacie.

"Your not going to do anything about it, out you?"

"Oh god no, Stacie would kill me if I made a move on Aubrey. Also I respect there relationship and I am not going to do anything to put it in jeopardy."

Wow, that was very sweet of him. "Aww Jesse, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I will get over it." he said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "But you, you should do something about your crush on Chloe."

"Dude I can't we like haut broke up a minute ago. That would be rude! I can't do that."

"But you didn't love me Beca. You just told me earlier that you were in love with Chloe this whole time. No worries if your scared about hurting me, cause you wont. I want you two to be together."

I was shocked "So your okay with this?"

"Yeah, just as long as we can still be friends."

"Of course" I pulled him into a small hug "Thank you Jesse, for making this easy."

He pulled away slightly and grabbed into my shoulders, "Your welcome. Now if I were you Beca, I would go and find Chloe and talk to her."

"But-"

"No buts Beca, if that note was complete honesty, than she feels the same so you don't have to worry about the rejection."

"Okay" I than turned towards his door, but before exiting I turned and said something else. "And thanks again Jesse."

"No problem."

And with that being said, I left.

I was excited. I was finally going to be able to tell her how I felt. I wouldn't have to hold it in anymore.

I was no longer scared, I wanted to be with her. I so badly wanted to be with her. I am almost one hundred percent positive that she likes me back. I could feel myself beginning to get giddy. I can't wait to be with her.

I was about half way over to her apartment when I had gotten a call from Aubrey.

"Hello?"

"Beca! Oh thank goodness you answered." I could tell something was wrong, she sounded nervous.

"Is everything okay?"

I heard take a deep breath before she answered. "It's- It's Chloe"


	6. I Wish That I Had Jesse Girl (p6)

_**(BECA'S P.O.V)**_

I was excited. I was finally going to be able to tell her how I felt. I wouldn't have to hold it in anymore.

I was no longer scared, I wanted to be with her. I so badly wanted to be with her. I am almost one hundred percent positive that she likes me back. I could feel myself beginning to get giddy. I can't wait to be with her.

I was about half way over to her apartment when I had gotten a call from Aubrey.

"Hello?"

"Beca! Oh thank goodness you answered." I could tell something was wrong, she sounded nervous.

"Is everything okay?"

I heard her take a deep breath before she answered. "It's- It's Chloe"

Just hearing that felt like a punch to my gut. Suddenly, my mind was filled with the worst possible things that could have happened to Chloe.

"W-What happened? Is she is okay?"

"I can't find her anywhere Beca and I'm scared." I heard Aubrey start to cry now "he ran out of the house 30 minutes ago and I have been looking for her. I have tried calling and texting her but she didn't answer. What if she tried to kill herself again?"

I started to panic. What if she had tried to kill herself again? By now it would be too late and she would already be dead.

"A-Aubrey, I'll help you look for her."

"Okay, and if you find, please call me. Even if she..." Aubrey couldn't get finish that sentence before she burst into tears. But she did have to, I knew what she meant.

"It's okay Aubrey, we will find Chloe. She will be alright." I had no idea if she would be okay, right now I could only think of the worst things that could happen to her. "And Aubrey, I-I will call Stacie and send her over."

"Okay, thank you Beca." After that I hung up. I called Stacie and told her what had happened and that Aubrey needed her right now. She told me that she would be there as soon as she could.

I couldn't believe this. I finally had to chance to be with her and now she might be gone. At this point I couldn't stop the tears from falling. What if something bad happened to her?

I can't think like that right now, I haver to stay positive.

3 hours.

It's been 3 hours and I still haven't found her.

It's 9:18 p.m and it's pretty dark out here.

I have checked all over the campus, I even had gone back to Aubrey and Chloe apartment to see if she had gone back yet and she hadn't.

Right now, I was at the bridge near Barden. She wasn't here. I just hoped she hadn't jumped off.

She wouldn't have survived the fall.

It's 10:03 p.m now and I still haven't found her. I am beginning to lose hope that I ever will.

What if someone had taken her? What if she had been hit by a car some where off campus and the person ran away? What if she jumped off that bridge or hung herself? Maybe she had shot herself?

My mind kept coming with all the possibility that could have happened to Chloe.

The worst thought was that she could be dead right now.

I looked down at my phone again to see that it's now 11:17 p.m. I am not going to be able to find. I have lost all hope now.

Most of the Bella's had been looking for her, but they all stopped a half an hour ago.

I wanted to keep looking because I knew she would turn up. But she hasn't.

I looked all over campus again and the town around Barden. She was nowhere.

I decided now that I should go back to my dorm. But before I did, I went over to Aubrey's apartment to check again.

When I knocked, Stacie answered. She her eye's were red and puffy it looked as if she had been crying too.

I asked how Aubrey was doing and she said that she wasn't taking this too well. She couldn't go to far away from the bathroom with out throwing up. I told her that I would begin looking in the morning again and she said that maybe Aubrey would be able to look again too.

As I was walking back to my dorm I decided to take the long way around campus again, just to make sure that she wasn't there.

I was about at my dorm all hope I had of finding her tonight was completely crushed.

I had no idea were Chloe was and that scared me to no end. I had no idea if she was safe or not.

As I was about to enter Baker Hall, I looked across the quad and saw a body lying in the grass. I couldn't tell who it was, but just incase it was her, I walked over to see if they were okay.

The closer I got I could make out a figure and I could tell that it was a girl. My heart started beating faster the closer I got hoping it was Chloe.

"Hey, a-are you okay?" I called out to the person.

They must have heard me because they sat up. And As soon as they did my stomach dropped. The person had dark broken hair instead of red. "Yeah, I'm fine, just watching the stars. Thanks for asking though." There voice definitely wasn't Chloe's. As I walked back up to my dorm I noticed how dirty I was and realized that I needed a shower. I grabbed my stuff out of my dorm and went down to the shower room.

I was just to turn on the shower when I had heard what sounded like metal dropping and a few sniffles. It completely scared me because I thought I was alone.

I didn't know if I should go and check to see if they were all right.

I took my shower and after I had finished, I still wondered if I was alone. I quickly put my sweatpants and a shirt that had boughten down on.

I looked in all the showers and saw in the last one, that someone was in there. I didn't really know what top ay to them, so I just stood there a minute before I spoke. "Are you okay in there?"

It was suddenly dead silent in there. Than the person in the shower spoke.

"Yeah... I'm fine." There voice sounded broken and it was filled with sadness. I knew exactly who it was, so I moved the curtain and walked in.

Sitting on the floor in the shower was Chloe, with her one wrist all cut up and blood dripping from it. Thank goodness the cuts were going across her wrist and not down. But I had no idea how deep they were. I hated seeing Chloe like this. I couldn't help but feel guilty as if this was my fault.

"Chloe, what's wrong?" I asked bending down beside her.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Being this close to her I could smell the alcohol in her breath. She was definitely drunk.

"We both know that's a lie Chloe. come on, let's get you cleaned up." I said helping her stand up. I brought her over towards the sink and washed her wrist off, the cuts didn't look to deep, but with the blood washed away there were lots more of them than I thought. After they had stopped bleeding, I had brought her up to my room. I called Stacie and told her that Chloe was fine and that she was staying with me.

I gave her a pair of sweats to wear to bed, and as she was changing I could tell she was having trouble with the buttons on her shirt. So I offered her help and she let me.

I tried to ignore they way my hands would brush up against her stomach occasionally. It wasn't a time to be thinking about that, but I couldn't stop the thoughts from coming.

I pulled the shirt off of her shoulders and helped her into one of mine.

Once her shirt was on, I looked up at her and found that she was already staring at me. I couldn't stop my self from staring at her lips, but once I caught my self I looked back up into her eyes.

Once I looked back up, I finally realized how close we were. Our face's were only inches apart and our bodies were almost pressed together. Never have I ever wanted to kiss someone so bad than in this moment.

I looked down at her lips again and before I could even process what was going on, I realized we were both leaning in.

And for the first time, our lips gently touched.


	7. I Wish That I Had Jesse Girl (p7)

**_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey Guys, I just thought that I would let you know that if you go onto my Wattpad account, these stories are a couple chapters ahead. That is also why I am updating so many at a time, I want to get caught up, and tan I will post around 1 chapter a day._**

 ** _(CHLOE'S P.O.V)_**

Our face's were so close. I wanted nothing more than to lean in and connect our lips.

But I knew that I couldn't do that. She loves Jesse, not me. So if I kissed her than she would be cheating on him.

I looked down at her lips again and before I could even process what was going on, I realized we were both leaning in.

I tried to stop moving closer but I couldn't help myself. I want to... no, I needed to kiss her.

And for the first time, our lips gently touched.

I almost moaned at the contact, but kept it to myself. I had waited over 7 months, and it felt so good to finally kiss her.

I knew that I probably should pull away, but I couldn't bring myself to do so.

This is the only chance I will ever get to kiss her so I decided to soak it in. After this she will probably find me disgusting and not want to around me anymore.

It felt amazing, but it also hurt at the same time. I knew that I was jeopardizing her and Jesse's relationship, but this would was probably the last time I would ever get to be this close to Beca.

Suddenly I felt a need for air, so I began to prepare myself for the rejection. Soon she quickly pulled away and just stared at me. The look on her face actually gave me hope that she felt something towards me, but I just pushed that thought away.

"Beca, I-I sorry... I didn't." I began to say but Beca stopped me.

"Chloe it's fine." she said with a small smile on her face.

"No it's not, I just kissed you and you're already in a relationship with someone else."

Beca than brought me down to sit on her bed "Listen Chloe it's okay, I know your drunk, but I..."

I had no idea what I was thinking but I just blurted this out "Your right, I'm drunk. So no worries, there are no feelings there." I had no idea why I said that, but I guess I was just protecting myself.

"Right... your drunk, and were-"she took a breath before she continued, "-just friends." For some reason she looked a little hurt after that, but I just shook it off. I was probably just imagining it.

"Yep" And for some reason I didn't stoop talking and this just blurted out too "and that's all we will ever be. No worries Beca, I don't have those kind of feelings towards you."

I wish I had just stopped talking when I had said 'yep' because the look on her face just crushed me. I could feel my heart ripping in two just by looking at her. She looked so hurt for some reason.

Wait... did she like me back?

No she doesn't. We are only friends, and she is dating Jesse. Beca Mitchell Doesn't feel that way towards me, and never will.

I just have to stop giving myself hope. She isn't even gay.

"Well your probably tired, let's get you to bed." The tone in her voice seemed to drop, she didn't seem as happy anymore.

She helped me put my shirt on will she put me into her bed. I scooted over expecting her to climbed in but she just laid down on the floor. Normally when we have sleep overs we share a bed. She is probably trying to put distance between us, she is just upset about the kiss and how she cheated on Jesse. "Beca, why are you down there? You know we can share the bed right?"

"Yeah, I know but I wanted to sleep on the floor."

"Come on Beca, you can sleep beside me. I don't want to take your bed."

"No Chloe, I good."

"Beca are you sure? Because-"

"I said I was fine Chloe." Beca snapped back at me "now just go to sleep"

She was silent for a while after that.

I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep after that so I just laid there thinking about the kiss that we had just shared.

She was such a good kisser. I would do anything to kiss her again. I touched my lips and closed my eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to have her lips on mine.

I couldn't help but begin to feel jealous of Jesse. Not like I hadn't been jealous before, but now I envied him. I would love to be able to kiss Beca when ever I wanted or felt like it.

Suddenly I heard a sob, and it sounded like Beca was crying. I leaned over the side of the bed to see if everything was okay. She was lying down on the floor with blanket wrapped tightly around her and her head resting on a small pillow. I could tell from the shape of the blanket that she was curled up in a small ball, and with the small light coming from the moon outside, I could make out tears falling down her face.

"Beca, is everything okay? What's wrong?" She jumped and just looked up at me.

"Chloe, oh sorry. I thought you were asleep. I didn't mean to wake you, go back to sleep." she said turning over again.

"No Beca, somethings wrong. Please talk to me?" She just looked up at me and stared, I could tell she was thinking. "Come here" I said gesturing for her to climb in bed with me.

She got up off the floor and climbed underneath the covers with me. I put my arm around her waits and pulled her close to me.

"Chloe, ho-how drunk are you?"

"Pretty drunk, I most likely won't remember any of this tomorrow." I was confused as to why she was asking me this.

"It's okay, I was just wondering because you seem pretty sober right now."

I didn't really know how to respond to that so I just pulled her closer and nuzzled my nose into her neck. "Goodnight Beca, thanks for taking care of me."

I felt her pull me closer than she responded, "Your welcome Chloe, and goodnight."

At the very end, it sounded likes he said something else, but I couldn't make it out.

Shortly after that I fell asleep.


	8. I Wish That I Had Jesse Girl (p8)

**PLEASE READ THIS NOTE, the last part is the most important**

 **AUTHORS NOTE: OH MY GOSH! I just went and saw Pitch Perfect 2 and it was amazing! No worries I won't say anything, I just really wish Beca and Chloe got together in it. But the movie gave me a really good idea for a new fanfic, so after this one is done I will be writing a new Bechloe fanfic, but anyway, I wasn't really happy with how the last chapter ended so I hope I make up for it. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been reading this. And a special thanks to everyone who has been voting and commenting. I am glad you guys have taken interest to my stories, because at first I thought that no one would read them, so thank you. I know that they aren't the most interesting, action packed kind of stories that are filled with suspense and drama, but seriously, thanks for reading them.**

 _ **(BECA'S P.O.V)**_

I couldn't believe.

She didn't feel the same.

After reading the note, I was almost positive that she liked me. Now, I was completely confused. Why would she take the time to write me a note, and it not have a single bit of truth in it.

Than suddenly it hit me.

Chloe, is just trying to mess with me. She probably knew that I liked her over Jesse and just did that to mess with my feelings.

God! How could I have been this stupid! Of course Chloe didn't like me, why would she? Chloe could practically have anyone on this campus, guy or girl, so why would she pick me out of all of them.

I looked down into my arms and found Chloe sleeping peacefully there. She looked so beautiful just laying there. She looked very content. I had to fight the urge to give her a kiss on the forehead. I knew that if I had done that it would leave me wanting more.

I knew I had to stop thinking about her like that if I was going to move on.

It's going to be so hard, considering we just kissed today.

God, I loved kissing Chloe. It felt amazing to feel her lips pressed against mine. This kiss lasted for about 30 seconds, but to me it felt like an hour. I wanted nothing more than to pull her back in after we separated for air. I was going to tell her how I felt than, but seeing how she didn't feel the same, I thought it would be pretty useless.

I almost told her again after she over heard me crying on the ground, but I realized it would be best if I just kept it to myself, even if she wouldn't remember it tomorrow. I am glad she won't remember any of this, and it will make it less awkward between us and we can still be friends.

But knowing that, she wouldn't have any awareness of what happened, gave me the courage to be able to at least tell her that I loved her before she went to sleep. But I don't think she had heard it anyway.

I looked down at her one more time, thinking about how hard it is going to be waking up next to her. I hate having to hold back from telling her how beautiful she looks, or from kissing her, or even saying that I love her.

But I decided that just for one more time, all this pain would be worth it just to wake up to her one more time. Because I am pretty sure after this, I wont be able to stop myself from doing something.

I really can't help it, my feelings just keep getting stronger towards her.

It sucks falling in love with some one who will never love you back or would have a chance with.

Tonight, for the first time in a while, I cried myself to sleep.

I felt a bright light shine over my eyes and I opened them only to be welcomed by sunlight. I quickly looked away trying to bury myself into my pillow more, but ended up bringing my head and nuzzling it into Chloe's neck.

Pulling back slightly to look at her face, I began to remember what happened last night.

I buried myself into her neck again and pretend that she was my girlfriend and that it was only us too. I pretend that she felt the same and that we were happy together.

I laid there for a while stroking her hair and thinking about an alternative universe, were me and her were together.

I must have just laid there for an hour before I felt her begin to move in my arms.

Here was the hardest part, because now I would have to pretend that I felt nothing towards her and that I was okay with being friends.

She slightly began to sit up when I heard her groan and lay back down.

"You okay there Chloe?"

She nodded her and than her eyes snapped open and she quickly turned her head to look at me.

"Beca? How- How did I get here? What happened last night?" Chloe said looking around my room realizing where she was.

Thank goodness she didn't remember about last night. "Last night I found you walking around campus and brought you back her and let you stay the night." I said, at least I wasn't lying to her. I was just telling her parts of the truth.

After we got up, I got her some aspirin and water for her to drink. Than we left my dorm, and I took her back to her apartment.

When she went back to her apartment she opened the door, and as soon as she walked in Aubrey slammed into her giving Chloe a bone crushing hug.

"Chloe! My god, you had me worried sick, where were you?" Aubrey asked and it looked as if she was on the verge of tears.

"I have no idea, everything about last night is still pretty fuzzy to me, hopefully I will remember later."

Than out of Aubrey's dorm Stacie walked out and as soon as she saw Chloe, she ran over and wrapped her arms around her and gave her a big hug.

"Chloe, your back! Please don't ever do that again." Stacie said still holding Chloe.

"I won't, even though I can't make any promises because I don't remember anything." Chloe said

"Alright, well I am glad to see that your okay Chloe, but I am gonna head out." Stacie said and than turned to me. "Beca, are you coming?"

"Uhh... yeah sure." I said than turning to towards Aubrey and Chloe I could see Aubrey glaring at me.

Than Stacie went over to her girlfriend and gave her a small kiss and whispered something into her ear which made Aubrey smile.

I wish I could do that to Chloe, give her a kiss before I leave. "Alright well see you guys later." I said and Stacie and I left.

After we walked out of her there apartment, stacie took me back to her dorm and I was pretty confused why she dragged me here.

As we got into her dorm, she sat me down on the bed. I knew she wanted to talk about something.

"Alright Beca spill." Stacie said breaking the silence.

"What?"

"Tell me what happened last night. You don't seem your regular self, you acting pretty glooming today."

"Nothing happened last night."

"Come on Beca, I know your lying to me."

I didn't know if I should tell her. I mean she was my best friend, besides Chloe.

"Alright, but please don't tell anyone." I said in a serious tone.

Stacie just shook her and made a motion with her hand that looked like she was locking her lips.

"Alright..." I said than explained the whole situation to her. But I left out the part about the kiss with her. And I think Stacie realized I didn't tell her something.

"So that's all that happened? Nothing else?" She said in a voice that made her sound suspicious.

"Yep, just what I told you."

"Really Beca? Because you seem a little upset for just that happening?" I know she wanted me to tell her, and under her intense stare at me, I cracked.

I took a deep breath, "Okay fine! I will tell you. I.. uh, we kissed."

"WHAT!" Stacie blurted out. "Oh my god, I am so happy for you too!"

"No, Stacie. That's all, we just kissed. And afterwords, she told how it meant nothing to her and that she doesn't feel... the same" Suddenly it hit me. It was really hard to say this out loud. I took a drop breath and tried to swallow this lump in my throat.

"Oh, Beca. I'm- I'm sorry. I swear I thought she felt the same way." Stacie said wrapping her arms around me.

"Me too." I said and finally let the tears go that I had been holding back.


	9. I Wish That I Had Jesse's Girl (End)

**AUTHORS NOTE: So here is the last chapter! I hope you guys have enjoyed this story. This is the alternative ending, go onto my wattpad for the original ending. My username for wattpad is Scissorhappy.**

 **(BECA'S P.O.V)**

"Wow Beca, this is really good." Stacie said taking my head phones off.

"Thanks" I was showing Stacie some off my mix's because she wanted to help me get my mind off of Chloe.

"So do you want to do something else?" Stacie asked. "How about watching a movie?"

"Umm, can we do something else beside watching a movie?"

"Why not? Do-Do you not like movies?" Stacie asked confused.

Than I just realized, I had never told any of the Bellas that I didn't like movie's, the only person who knew that was Jesse. "Yeah, I don't really like movies."

"Okay, so-" I interrupted Stacie before she could say anything else.

"Wait seriously? That's all your gonna say about that? You not going to give me a whole speech about not liking movies?" I aske confused.

"Yeah, you said you didn't like them so I am not gonna force you to watch one or talk about it."

"Wow, okay." I was surprised.

"Why?"

"Well, when I had told Jesse that I wasn't a big fan of movie's he gave me this whole speech about how it's crazy not to like them. Than he would like make me watch them when we were dating. So-"

"Wait, did you break up with Jesse?" Stacie said a bit confused.

"Oh yeah, sorry I forgot to mention it."

"Why, was it because of Chloe?"

"Yeah, I guess he could kinda tell that I wasn't really that into him. But he said that it's cool because he had feelings for someone else."

"Really who? Do I know them." Stacie asked

"Yeah, actually it's-" Than I stopped mid sentence realizing I was just about to tell Stacie that Jesse liked her girlfriend.

"Who?"

"Oh it's no one." I said than tried to change the subject. "So umm are you-"

"Beca, I know what you are doing. Come on, you can tell me."

"Okay, but promise me that you won't get mad okay?"

Stacie just nodded a yes and smiled.

"Okay it's- it's Aubrey." Suddenly the smile on her face dropped and she looked kind of angry.

"He like's Aubrey? As in my Aubrey, Aubrey Posen?"

"Yeah, but don't worry, he said he won't do anything about it." I said trying to make her feel a bit better. But that didn't work because she stood up and started pacing around my dorm room.

"That still doesn't change the fact that he likes her." Stacie said I bit angry. "God, he better not try to make a move on Aubrey."

"Even if he does, your with Aubrey and I doubt she would ever cheat on you." I said trying to make her feel better.

"Yeah,whatever, lets just talk about something else." I could tell that Stacie was a bit mad still.

I just and looked at her for a bit trying to read her and than I realized something. She isn't angry that Jesse likes Aubrey, she feels threatened by him and maybe a little bit insecure.

"Stacie, Jesse won't take Aubrey away from you. Aubrey really likes you Stacie." I said than pit my hand in her shoulder to make her feel better.

"But what makes you think that Aubrey loves me and wouldn't leave me for Jesse?" Stacie said looking a bit upset. "I mean he could pretty much have any girl on this campus, and leader of the Treblemakers."

"Stacie, you don't have to worry about anything. I am pretty sure she is head over heals in love with you. Besides, she talks about you all the time." The last part earned a little giggle from Stacie. "Alright Becs, but lets just talk about something else."

* * *

 **(CHLOE'S P.O.V)**

I knew that I shouldn't be doing this, but I had to. As I walked over to Beca's dorm I was preparing myself for what I was going to say to her.

I knew I had told her that I couldn't remember about last night, but that was a lie. I could remember the kiss and the small conversation we had after words. I should have just told her how I felt then, because than there would be no more what ifs. I could have just said that I at least tried knowing that there isn't anything that could possibly happen between us and than just move on.

As I got into Baker hall, I ran into Stacie. "Hey Chloe, where are you going?"

"Oh, I'm just going to see Beca."

Suddenly Stacie got this big smile on her face "Alright well good luck, I only want whats best for you two".

I as got to Beca's door I just took a second to calm down my nerves. All of the worst possible outcomes keep coming to my head. I mean, it's not like Beca actually has feelings for me anyway, but I guess it's just the rejection I'm nervous about because I know that's is gonna hurt.

I knock on the door and I hear Beca yell from inside, "One Sec, I'll be right there". I heard her move somethings around than she opened up the door.

"Chloe? What are you doing here?" She said a bit confused.

"Oh, I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay." When she said that I could tell that she was a little nervous. She opened up the door and I walked in. I came in and she walked over to her computer, going to turn it off. "So what did you want to talk to me about?" She said still facing her computer.

I took a deep breath before answering "Last night". When she heard that I could see her tense up, but than quickly relaxed. "Oh, uhh... What about last night." Her voice cracked when she said the first part.

"I remember the kiss." She stood straight up when I said that. Her back was still facing me so I couldn't see her reaction. We stood there a little bit before I started talking.

"Listen last night, I was drunk. But-" I took a deep breath before continuing." But do li-"

She cut me off before I could finish saying it. "Before you say anything about how the kiss was a mistake and you want to just forget about it, I just want to tell you how I felt about it." She turned around and was now facing me.

I tried telling her that I wasn't going to say that but she cut me off, "Chloe please. I'm not very good at opening up to people, and you know that, so please just let me say this."

I just nodded waiting for her answer.

"I really like you Chloe, and last night that kiss meant everything to me. I know how you said that you don't have feelings for me, but..." She paused for a second to collect her thoughts. "I just... well if you came here to tell me that, I already knew. And that's fine with me. I'm totally cool with still being friends. But I'm gonna need sometime to move on." While she was talking, I hadn't noticed that she had started moving closer tom e. We were only about a foot apart.

I just stood there staring at her in shock, probably looking like a complete idiot. I couldn't believe she felt then same way. Beca just stood there with a hopeful look on her face but it soon quickly faded. She sadly smiled and just shook her head lightly, "It's okay, I wasn't expecting you to feel the same way."

As slowly turned away from me, but I quickly grabbed her pulling her into a kiss. Her lips met with mine and I put my hands around her waist pulling her closer. I was trying to convey everything that I wanted to say into that kiss. She brought her hands up and wrapped her arms around my neck.

The kiss went on for a while until we broke apart for air, we stood there in each other embrace, trying to catch our breath. I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face, and as I looked down onto her face I saw she had the same smile.

"So I'm guessing this means you feel the same?"

I just let out a little giggle and pulled her closer into a hug where I buried my head into the crook of her neck. "Yes it does, I really like you too Becs." I let out a happy sigh, but suddenly my breath itched with realization. Jesse. Beca still had Jesse, and just kissed her. "Chloe is there something wrong?" I heard her whisper into my ear.

"Beca, we can't do this." I said pulling back from her. She looked at my very confused. "But... why? I-I thought... you just said you felt the same way." Her face went from confused to hurt and I hated seeing her like that. "It's not that I don't want to be with you Becs, because I do and you have to know that. But you're still with Jesse. And that wouldn't be fair to him. He is a gre-"

"What?" She said looking at me confused.

"You know Jesse, your boyfriend?"

"Oh." Than she thought for a second. "OH! I didn't get to tell you, we broke up. So you don't have to worry about him."

"Okay, but don't you think that you are moving on pretty fast, I mean I don't want him to be hurt by-"

"No worries Chloe, the break up was kinda mutual. He had feelings for someone else."

"Oh, who?"

She let out a little laugh "Believe it or not, but he likes Aubrey. I think that it's kinda a little weird because they have had like no interaction but it's what ever really".

"Wow, I wasn't expecting you to say that. I wonder how Stacie must feel about it."

* * *

Beca and I just sat there and must have talked for about an hour or so, before she said how tired she as from last night and we took a nap together. And as I laid there in her embrace, I felt very content. And for the very first time since my suicide attempt, I was glad that Aubrey saved me that day.

 **AUTHORS NOTE: So that's the end, I hope you enjoyed it. If you guys have any questions about the story or anything, feel free to message me.**


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